


win at life by weaponazing common sense in the form of a slingshot

by gins4n



Category: Naruto
Genre: Brief Mentions of Blood, Gen, Half Senju Obito, POV Female Character, Swearing, also he is about eleven here, but no Mokuton Obito
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 08:29:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15904632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gins4n/pseuds/gins4n
Summary: Tamaki Ito, chuunin kunoichi of Konoha, meets one Uchiha Obito and ends up as his temporary teacher because she dislikes crying children.Also, geniuses are dumb.





	win at life by weaponazing common sense in the form of a slingshot

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of Obito being half Senju comes from blackkat's fantastic fic Stormborn.  
> This whole fic is totally self-indulgent and jammed with my headcanons. I regret nothing.

Tamaki Ito is so very bored. She got fucked up big time during her last mission and managed to get herself saddled with hospital leave in village during wartime, which she thinks sets some kind of record in uselessness and depressingness.

Wandering around muttering about dirty best friends who don’t let her drown her sour mood in alcohol (that's what she gets for bonding with medics, they’re evil and suck joy out of patients as payment for their healing, dammit), she stumbles on a training ground still occupied despite the late hour. There, there's a kid of no more than twelve training alone and after a bit of observing (read: shameless spying) she recognizes him as the third and least talented student of Young Genius Namikaze Minato.

The kid is beat and dirty and the sound of his heavy breathing carries to the edge of the clearing from where she's watching. He’s practicing shuriken and kunai throwing, as well as taijutsu, everything in classic Uchiha style. By the stylized fan stitched at the back of his shirt, that style should suit him at least a bit, but it doesn’t at all, and after a while Ito can’t stop herself from stepping in.

She’s still a chuunin, but she’s a damn good kunoichi and she knows what she's actually brilliant in. Being an assassin and short to medium term infiltrator doesn’t give one much of a spotlight to show off in, but she's proud of knowing all the katas of more fighting styles than most jonin, as well as how to recognize the typical moves when used in other areas, re: shurikenjutsu. She knows how to perform all fighting styles she has studied, if not actually use them, and she just can’t let this kid continue on butchering himself and the Uchiha style like this.

She steps forward into the clearing calling “kid” as she goes. The boy yelps in surprise and loses his balance, falling and cutting the skin between thumb and index finger of the hand that is holding the shuriken. Ito winces, because she knows for a fact that it hurts like bitch, then says “it's real late, you shouldn’t be practicing”.

The boy stands up, trying to hide the bleeding hand, and puffs his chest out. “Don’t worry onee-chan, I’m just fine!” he says loudly, flashing her a confident smile. It would be cute if he wasn’t literally bleeding in this exact moment.

“No you aren’t,” she says with a sigh, “I’m not an idiot kid, you have obviously been training for too long, and you look like shit.”

“No I don’t!” he yells back.

“Yes you do!” she answers marching toward the kid. “Now let me look at that hand” she says holding her own hand out.

“Thank you nee-chan but I’m fine!” he says turning his back to her and walking to the training post again. He makes another pitiful attempt at shurikenjutsu, clearly nervous at her presence, and the results are so poor that Ito can’t stop herself from bursting out “you’re never gonna make it kid, just give up already”.

The kid stops suddenly at that and looks at her with too shiny big eyes and an hurt expression, then turns his head away from her and to the ground. His shoulders and hands (one of them still bloody) shake slightly.

Oh my god, the kid is crying.

For thirty straight seconds, Ito lets herself panic, wondering exactly where her being a little too blunt got to the point of making child shinobi cry. Then she remembers that she has a cut to heal, which is more important than broken feelings.

“Now give me the hand” she says, sitting down and holding her hand out again. The boy obeys this time and sits down next to her, still looking the other way.

As she concentrates on not fucking this up, because she is by no means a medic and also because she maybe is a little bit chakra exhausted and shouldn’t be molding chakra yet, the kid puts his goggles on and keeps trying not to let her notice he’s crying. She feels too bad about this, so she decides she has to make it right.

After she's done healing the cut, she grabs the kid’s wrist before he can make his escape. He tries anyway.

“Wait” Ito says, then sighs. “I’m sorry I was so brusque earlier. People always tell me I’m too blunt.”

She waits for the boy to nod, then goes on. “Also, I’m not a clan child so I don’t really get the whole clan pride thing, but I get why you would want to know the Uchiha style, but it really doesn’t suit you at all, so you should-”

The boys turns to look at her with reddened eyes full of surprise making her pause, startled.

“You weren’t telling me to quit being a shinobi?” he asks with a small voice.

 _What?_ “No I wasn’t? I was telling you to stop wasting time trying to learn a style that doesn’t suit you. You’re wasting your talent this way.”

The boy looks at her like she grew a second head, doing a great impression of fish. “You think I have _talent_?”

 _Do I have the wrong person? Is this kid just some academy student?_ She really hopes not, because she has a pride and getting things this wrong will leave it very damaged. Damn, she's supposed to be a better gossip than this.

“You are one of Namikaze’s students, right?” she asks, hoping her alarm doesn’t color the tone of her voice. When the boy just nods, slightly puzzled, she sighs in relief and continues. “Then you graduated early, you’re obviously talented. I think you might still be younger than the age I graduated at.” _Which is kinda depressing to me_ she thinks, but doesn’t say.

The kid looks so blown away at that that Ito starts wondering what the actual fuck Konoha’s golden genius has been teaching the boy. He might be the worst student in his team, or even below the expectations, but he still managed to become genin before Namikaze himself had. Even taking into account that Namikaze’s graduation hadn’t been during a war, it was damn impressive in her books.

“I’m Uchiha Obito” says the boy suddenly, regaining Ito's attention. “I want to be Hokage one day!” he says with newfound self-confidence.

“Yeah, well, you’ve got a chance” she answers. Half of her graduating class had wanted to be Hokage as well, back in the day, but now some are dead and the others lost the fire of it. The boy beams at her like she told him Christmas is coming early because of the easy agreement, which makes her wonder what kind of people the kid leaves with. Knowing about the number of orphans in Konoha, probably none.

“Y’know,” starts Obito boisterously, betraying worry. “Sensei is out of the village for a long mission, and left us to train, but I’ve been doing it wrong, right? But you look like a real cool kunoichi and talk about taijutsu like you know it, so…” he trails of in a embarrassed laugh, rubbing the back of his head and looking away.

“…you want me to train you?” she asks, a bit shocked.

The boy nods shyly. And maybe because medical leave bores her, maybe because thinking about her old graduating class and their broken dreams made her sad, or maybe just because this Obito kid looks lonely and full of wasted potential… she says yes.

 

She has been training Obito for two months now and her life has changed drastically.

In a week and an half of training Obito casually, she had resigned herself to her fate and applied him for a temporary apprenticeship of the duration of the six months Namikaze was spending as commanding officer of the Iwa front.

After that, the boy hadn’t left her alone one moment, save for their respective missions. To her friends’ (but mostly _her_ ) surprise, she didn’t mind at all. He was now a regular to the guest futon in her apartment, which he bullied her into cleaning with him, and was teaching her how to cook meals instead of shamelessly drown herself into premade food and takeaway.

Her friends are still laughing at her, but she doesn’t really mind that either.

About training, they only fought once very early on. They had reviewed academy style taijutsu and when Ito said she thought the Senju style would be the best one for Obito to learn next, the boy had thrown a tantrum and refused to train that day. When they made up, Ito had discovered why the Uchiha seemed to dislike Obito so much: being half Senju surely didn’t buy the boy any friends in the clan. She also understood why Obito wanted to awaken the Sharingan so bad. She had resolved that day to learn more about the Uchiha dojutsu as to help the boy along the way.

Which is why she’s now sitting in front of the new Uchiha clan head, Uchiha Fugaku, and feeling so out of place that she can hear the fancy teacup she got offered laugh at her. It can’t be healthy.

“So, what kind of information do you want about the Sharingan, exactly?” says the man with a polite tone that makes Iron country’s winter climate feel tropical.

As her brain starts screaming madly about how it doesn’t want to deal with this (she usually avoids Uchihas for a reason, they make her feel so damn uncomfortable), she reminds herself that this is for Obito's sake and that if she doesn’t do it, the boy would have to have this conversation _himself_ and, knowing him, there is no way that would go well.

“I would like to know about its awakening and how I could try to help the process along” she answers.

After a one minute pause in which Fugaku stares at her gelidly, he must think her interest is genuine because he relaxes slightly and starts talking, taking a sip of his now tepid tea every now and then. Ito starts sipping her tea too.

“I guess this is about Obito?” he says, and continues after Ito nods. “I presume you also know about the other half of the boy's heritage. Taking that into consideration, I find it difficult that he'd awaken the Sharingan.”

“I don’t get why, sir” she answers. “The Senju where called the clan of a thousand abilities exactly because they could adopt all kind of technics thanks to them not having a kekkei genkai- aside from the Mokuton, obviously. Why would Senju blood stop one from developing the Sharingan?”

“That is because the Sharingan’s awakening is triggered by a great afflux of chakra to the optic nerves, caused by an overflow of emotion, generally negative as negative emotions are easier to be triggered by the shinobi lifestyle, and also by a lack of outlet of such emotions. The Uchiha are, by nature, more prone to this kind of situation, while Senjus, considered more in touch with their feeling by many, are usually not prone to be emotionally overwhelmed” explains Fugaku.

“So you’re telling me that since Obito knows how to cry, he is too mentally stable to awaken the Sharingan?”she asks.

The man pauses for a few moments before answering. “Yes” he says.

There is another pause in the conversation in which Ito looks at her half empty tea cup, then she meets the Uchiha’s eyes squarely.

“Don’t you think that would actually make him the perfect candidate for an Uchiha Hokage?” she asks. Fugaku stares at her like he's seeing her for the first time, mouth slightly parted.

 

When Ito tells Obito how the conversation went, things go smoothly thorough the technical explanation, with the boy taking the unlikeliness of him ever awakening the Sharingan better then she expected, what with realizing it was either that or deeply traumatizing experiences probably involving dead friends. She even got a bright laugh out of the boy when she told him how she had basically implied all Uchiha were closet psychos.

She hadn’t expected the crying at the Hokage bit, though.

When, oh, when will she learn how not to royally put her foot in her mouth without her even noticing?

“Obito, don’t be sad about Fugaku’s reaction, you’re still a genin, people don’t know how good you can be yet. Not even we know right now!” she says stumbling on every word.

“I’m not sad!” says Obito crying harder. “It’s just that, if you brought it up with a clan head, you really mean it when you say I can do it!”

He rubs his eyes with his sleeve and Ito takes that as a crying stopping sign. She inches closer to the boy and when he hugs her, she hugs back. “I do think you have a chance. I mean, you’re the first person I know that keeps hoping on it after six months out of the academy, so there's that, I guess” she says shrugging awkwardly at the end. Obito sniffles a bit more and then goes find some tissue. After blowing his nose, he sits next to her again, eyes red but otherwise calm.

“But, wouldn’t it be better to bet on someone with more promise?” he asks, watching his hands. “Random example, someone like Bakashi?”

Kakashi is never a random example and always an inferiority complex I wish I was friends with kinda deal. For that, Ito doesn’t feel guilty at all as she says “That kid could never be Hokage.”

Obito perks up and looks at her with eyes round for the surprise. “What, why? Kakashi is a genius and already an amazing shinobi!” he says, not realizing he’s already defending his teammate despite him being the one who disses him the most. _Cute!_

“And he would get Konoha into war the moment he talks. You can’t just state the truth and think that people won’t get offended. It’s just rude” she answers. She can see the moment when Obito gets what she means by the way he cringes.

Kakashi and hard truths is not something she has witnessed herself, but the young genius apparently has the social grace of a brick through a window. He thinks that because something is true, it's not offensive to say it out loud or point it out. Obviously only between allies. What the kid doesn’t get is that you don’t make allies out of stating the truth, only enemies.

“Yeah, but he could take it as a mission, and he manages not to fuck up those” answers Obito.

“Let me go a bit off topic, Obito.” Ito says and continues when the boy nods. “There was a situation some time ago, when a shinobi was running an high sensitive mission and blew it to save a comrade’s life. It was said that that failed mission was the reason the current war started. Then, there were two factions: those who thought he did well and those who didn’t. What do you think?”

“He did well” answer Obito solemnly. “That's what the Will of Fire is all about.”

“Most people didn’t think so though” says Ito. Obito looks genuinely angry and she feels a swell of pride for this little boy she took under her wings. She starts speaking again before Obito can start shouting indignantly. “The shinobi got ostracized for his choice, to the point he couldn’t take it anymore and took his own life. That man was Kakashi’s father, Hatake Sakumo.”

The shock on the boy's face soon turns to sadness. “He was an hero, though” he says and the older girl rubs his hair affectionately.

“Konoha's youngest genius Hatake Kakashi reacted to the tragedy by becoming an exemplary shinobi, who lives and breaths the shinobi rules and puts them over everything else. Even over his teammates’ lives.”

“That's not true!” shouts Obito. “Bakashi may be a jerk, but he would never leave Rin or Minato-sensei or even me to die just for a bunch of rules.”

“But what if he did reason like that?” asks Ito.

“I told you he wouldn’t!” shouts Obito back, obviously aggravated.

“But if he _did_ , Obito, what would you do?” says Ito looking intensely at the younger boy.

Obito looks at her warily, then answers with a much calmer tone. “I'd talk to him about it. I’m sure he'd understand.”

“And if he didn’t?” asks the girl.

“Then I’d fight him” answers Obito.

“But you'd loose, right?” she says.

Obito looks pained at the question, but doesn’t waver as he says “Yes, but I’d do it anyway.”

“And what if he didn’t get it anyway?” she asks.

“Then I’d fight him again” the boy says.

“Even if you’d loose again?” says Ito.

“Yes” he answers

“Yes?” Ito urges the boy.

“Yes. I’d loose and loose and loose all the times it takes for him to change his mind” states Obito with a solemn surety he rarely shows.

Ito smiles, breaking the heavy mood. “See, Obito? You see the necessity of sacrifice, not its beauty.”

Obito looks startled, then laughs coyly. If during that day Ito finds him with eyes glazed over and assorted in thought more than usual, she doesn’t comment on it.

 

“Oi, nee-chan”

“Mmmmmh”

“Nee-chaaaaaan”

“What’s ‘t, ‘bito?”

“Kakashi would never abandon us just to follow the rules”

“…sleep, Obito”

 

Following the “probably no Sharingan” conversation, Ito and Obito brainstormed a bit and agreed that he needed to be perfect at the basics plus some other general stuff- basically, he needed solid ground to build a style upon. But, since he was at a good point there, he could spend some time on some elemental jutsu. Still only basic ones though. Ito believed in efficiency before flashiness and she was going to beat this principle into her pupil if it killed her.

Sadly, things hadn’t gone well on that side. Even with basic fire jutsu, the kid manages only poor attempts, and it's souring his mood enough that his whole training is suffering from it.

Strangely enough, the idea on what to do about it comes in the form of the Uchiha clan head ambushing her on the street and forcibly inviting (re: commanding politely) her to a classy tea house.

As Ito stares at her tea cup once again, wondering exactly just how many tea ceremony rules she has already broken and why oh why does she have to be so socially awkward (she's an infiltrator, _god_ , she's supposed to know how to do formal without feeling like she’s dying), Fugaku coughs politely to attract her attention.

“I heard that Minato’s student is still progressing at an impressive speed” starts Fugaku, going straight to the point.

“He is” Ito says without missing a bit. Obito might be in a bit of a slump, but he's still doing rather well and even if he wasn’t, Ito wouldn’t says so to someone who might affect the boy's career in any way. Especially now that Uchihas are starting to warm up to him seeing his recent improvement. “He's very talented for his age. I wasn’t even out of the academy, then. It's impressive”…and early graduation reminder, check.

“And I was just out of it” agrees the man easily, making Ito pause briefly. That sounded a lot like an “I’m non-threatening” kinda statement.

“Also impressive” answers Ito and it gets a small nod of thanks out of Fugaku. Definitely non-threatening.

“I wonder though at the boy's lack of interest in elemental jutsu aside from the Great Fireball, which he seems to love” he says. Obito’s love for the Great Fireball is more of an obsession, but most importantly, something Ito is desperately trying to beat out of the boy, because it makes him so easy to read, using that jutsu at any time it might fit. It's one of the reasons why she wanted Obito to learn other jutsu.

She doesn’t let any of her personal feeling at the technic seep through her expression as she answers. “We’re getting there, but I believe that getting some solid basics is necessary before moving to new territory. And I must admit that I’m not much inclined to elemental jutsu myself” she says, everything technically true.

Fugaku’s expression shifts slightly, a single eyebrow moving, and the girl would be impressed in how much judgement and general “I know what you're doing bitch” are jammed together in that little movement if it wasn’t, that is, directed at her. _This is why I don’t talk to Uchihas, dammit_.

“Then I’m glad I’m still in time” says the Uchiha clan head after a pause that feels like an eternity. He takes something from his pants' pocket without standing up (and without it looking awkward, brownie points) and puts it on the on the table. It takes a moment for the girl to recognize chakra induction paper, but the moment she does she mutters “I’m an _idiot_ ”. She doesn’t even feel embarrassed about it.

“In the Uchiha clan, lighting nature is second most common after fire, even if it's usually just secondary” explains Fugaku, ignoring her comment. “I think it would be wise to test for it, especially considered Obito's particular genealogy.”

“Thank you” answers the girl earnestly. “I will.”

Fugaku nods and then they finish their now tepid tea in silence.

 

When Ito shows Obito the papers and explains him what they're for, he rubs his nape laughing sheepishly.

“I always assumed I was fire natured, what with being an Uchiha” he says. “Turns out even the Uchiha aren’t all that way, I guess.”

“Don’t tell me kiddo” answers Ito, “I should have definitely thought about it. On a bright note though, we now know that the Uchiha clan head is keeping an eye on you and your training, which means he has hopes for you.” _which could be as much of a bad thing as it could be good_ she thinks, but doesn’t add. Obito looks so happy at the attention that she's willing to postpone the lesson on just how bad expectations can be.

“So you think I’ve got lighting nature like Bakashi?” asks Obito excitedly.

“Only one way to know” she says, handing the boy a sheet of paper. She’s quite nervous about this. Teaching Obito fire technics has been a nightmare and a half, since she's water natured and fire just doesn’t come natural to her. Lightning might be better then that, but it's still _bad_ , because it's unruly and difficult to manage on a decent level without some kind of predisposition of the person, so she had just avoided lighting jutsu like the plague. If she had to teach them to her pupil, she’d have to study them _herself_ first. She really didn’t want to.

“So, channel just a little bit of chakra into the paper” she explains Obito, who's nearly vibrating from excitement. “If your affinity is fire -which it probably isn’t, but I’m telling you anyway- the paper will turn to ash; if it's wind the paper will split in two; if it's lightening the paper will wrinkle; if it’s earth the paper will turn to dust; and if it’s water the paper will dampen” she lists while counting with her fingers. Then she gestures at Obito and he takes it as the invitation it is and channels chakra into the paper.

Half of it dampens, and the other half crumbles away. They both stare at the wet paper starting flake off in Obito’s hand when the boy mutters “Damn Senju genes.”

They both burst out laughing at that. “How the heck did you even manage that much fire jutsu,” says Ito between a burst of laughter and the other. “How did you not notice you aren’t fire natured!”

The laughing starts stronger still. When they manage to calm down, Ito starts teaching one of the easiest water jutsu she knows. Now, this she can do well.

 

Ito comes home from a mission angry, irritated, but mostly bone deep _tired_ to find Konoha's golden genius Namikaze Minato preparing tea in her kitchenette and smiling politely at her.

“Out” she says, pointing at the window. He starts to retort, but the girl interrupts him before his big blue puppy eyes can make her waver. “ _Out_ ” she repeats. He lowers his head so pitifully that Ito feels bad about kicking him out even though he had basically broken in in the first place, and then he jumps out the window.

When she’s sure he's gone, she lays down and sleeps.

 

The following morning, the whole episode feels like a dream. That is, until she hears a knock on the door to find Minato standing outside with a sheepish smile on his face and a box of bakery cookies in his hands.

“I got told that waiting for people inside their houses when they’re coming back from missions is impolite” he says, “so I brought cookies to say sorry. Can we talk?”

Ito sighs and invites him inside. He sits on the couch as she prepares tea and serves it, then the girl sits next to him and they start munching on cookies, in silence.

This is awkward. Genius with zero social skills (and if she's the one saying so, they should be worried) are awkward. She wishes this wasn’t happening, but it is, so she might as well get it done soon and move on.

“This is about Obito, right?” she asks.

“Yes” says Minato, then bows his head deeply in her direction. “I wanted to thank you for taking care of Obito.”

“It was my pleasure, really, I like the kid” Ito says, mind blown and panicking internally.

“Then, would you mind keep helping him?” asks Minato, head still bowed. “He's been worrying that since temporary apprenticeship period is ending, you won’t train with him anymore.”

“What? No, that's not… Can you raise your head? Talking to your hair really isn’t going to cut it” she says, mildly irritated.

When the man is finally meeting her eyes, she starts again. “I’m not mentoring Obito again, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll stop help him train. And he knows that, because we already talked about it some time ago, with more tears involved than I’d like to admit. If he's worried about someone not teaching him anymore, that's you” she says, pointing at him.

Minato eyes widen in shock, then turn to honest offence. “I obviously don’t want to stop! Obito, Rin and Kakashi are my students, I’m not giving them up” he says firmly.

“Then we're done, no? You keep your team and I help Obito out when we both ha-”

“NO!” he shouts, and Ito stops talking, startled by the uncharacteristic violence of the outburst. Minato, noticing her surprise, folds a bit on himself, embarrassed. “It's just…” he mutters, not looking at her. “Obito got better in six months under your care than he did in more than a year under mine. Where did I go wrong? I’m supposed to be a genius, so why couldn’t I even help my student?”

He looks up at her, obviously pained and Ito can’t help but pity him. Geniuses of the shinobi world always have it hard, knowing everything on how to kill, steal and manipulate, but being basically incapable of understanding people truly in their everyday life. She had thought Namikaze was the one who had it better between Konoha’s three current geniuses, and she's probably right, but it doesn’t look like he has it _good_.

She sighs, then answers. “You being a genius _is_ the problem” she says and seeing the other's confused expression, she goes on. “You have your areas of expertise, but whatever branch of the shinobi arts you'd try to study, it'd go some shade of well. Normal people aren’t like that. There are some things we’re just shitty at. And maybe if we apply ourselves a lot, we could overcome the shitty to reach decent or even well, but it’d take so much time it usually just isn’t worth the effort. So we need to find the things we can actually be good at and play on that. That's what Obito is doing right now. In this months I’ve helped him build the bases he’ll need to do so. That’s it.”

Minato is looking at her dumbfounded as if she had just revealed him the meaning of the universe but he couldn’t grasp it. “But is there some sort of criteria..?” he asks.

“Personal likes” she answers and Minato cringes.

“I’ve always been bad at those” he says.

“I know, which is why I root your girlfriend for next Hokage instead of you” she says without feeling a tinge of guilt. Uzumaki Kushina is a modern goddess and deserves the hat more than everyone else ever has.

“I don’t have a girlfriend” he answers perplexed.

Ito stares at him wondering if he's that kind of bastard. “Well, you should tell Kushina-san, because she's been saying you’re her boyfriend to basically everyone.”

Minato stares at her dumbly, blushing until he's as red as said Kushina’s hair and burying his face into his hands. She explodes in laughter and isn’t able to stop even at the man’s laments and pleads for mercy.

He didn’t get he's been dating. He didn’t _notice_.

 _Oh my god, I’m going to tell this to everyone_ _who has ears_ she thinks, still cackling.

 

“Alright, I’m telling you if you’re going too fast for Obito, or if he’s struggling with something.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, yeah, promise. You’ll do right by him this time.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> would be art tumblr is here.


End file.
